We Can Only Change Ourselves

When others don’t do or say what we want them to do or say, our natural tendency is to try to change them.  We figure this is the solution.  If they just did what we wanted, we’d be so much happier.  Things would be so much easier.

Sorry to have to be the one to tell you, but this just isn’t the way it works.

Taking a simple example, I can tell you from experience that trying to change someone else’s behavior only causes more grief.  Driving with my husband used to mean an inevitable argument about his “road rage.”  It absolutely drove me nuts how worked up he’d get with the other drivers, and how frustrated he’d be if traffic was slow.

Because this isn’t something that I could understand, since I did not react the same way, it frustrated me that he allowed it to get him into such a negative state.  My frustration always led to me making some sort of comment, which always meant an escalation of the situation.

I was trying to get him to change, but giving it the same energy he was giving it…frustration.  All this accomplished was a whole lot more frustration.

Finally, I clued in and realized I was never going to change the situation with the approach I was taking.  It didn’t change anything, and all it did was make me feel even worse.  So, I finally I came to the realization that the only thing I had control over was my own reaction.  From that moment on I made the choice to no longer comment on his behavior.  Initially it really meant me biting my tongue, but eventually it got easier on my part.

I decided to no longer buy into his frustration and feel that my mood was dependent on how he was reacting.  And for those of you who understand how energy works, you will not be surprised to hear that by me not feeding the energy of frustration, my husband’s reactions to traffic also began to soften (okay with still an occasional flare up!).

So, the solution is never the need for them to change, but rather the need for you to adjust and understand your reactions and expectations.  Why does someone else need to change to make you happy?  What can you do about it instead?!

Trisha Savoia is founder/owner of Absolute Awareness, and creator of the The Integrity Code, and The Soulful Parent Programs. Through her programs, writing, and speaking she uses her skills, experience, and intuition as a mother, teacher, Clinical Hypnotherapist, and Entrepreneur to help guide moms to recover their true selves and their intuition, while at the same time learn how to parent so their children can do the same.

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Why Do We Fight To Be Right?

I used to be a “fence sitter.” I really didn’t have a strong opinion about anything. Certainly part of it was because I am pretty easy-going, BUT a larger portion of that was because I didn’t have the confidence to stand firm in my own beliefs.

I really hadn’t formed any of my own beliefs. I grew up believing what I was told by my parents, teachers, peers, society…I hadn’t yet developed my muscle in establishing my own set of beliefs that worked for me.

So, when one of those programmed beliefs were challenged, I felt I needed to fiercely defend it. They weren’t ever beliefs that I chose for myself, so why was I so eager to fight to be right? Because my belief system was being challenged. And whether consciously or not (okay…not) that was very unsettling.

I was being forced to possibly look at things another way, and I was so unaccustomed to doing that that it threw me off balance. It rattled my “safe” little world. So rather than having to go through the “trauma” of realizing there may be another way, it was “easier” to defend what is.

Eventually, as I began to own who I really was and began to soften to the idea that there may be another way, I also began to form my own beliefs based on what truly works for me. When this happened, the need to be right fell away. I no longer needed to be right, because I simply knew it was right for me. It didn’t matter if it was right for anyone else.

As my confidence grew, I didn’t fear being wrong. I didn’t fear it, because I realized there was no such thing as “wrong,” but only what works for each individual. Now that’s not to say that I don’t get passionate about what I believe and want to share it, BUT the difference is I don’t have a need for them to agree with me anymore.

So, that begs the question, would you rather be right or happy?!

Trisha Savoia is founder/owner of Absolute Awareness, and creator of the The Integrity Code, and The Soulful Parent Programs. Through her programs, writing, and speaking she uses her skills, experience, and intuition as a mother, teacher, Clinical Hypnotherapist, and Entrepreneur to help guide moms to recover their true selves and their intuition, while at the same time learn how to parent so their children can do the same.

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Do you Value Your Child…Regardless of What Team They End Up On?

With the start of the school year also comes the start of evaluations for many sports that our children are involved in. Because of this I am hearing the buzz of a common theme. The wonder, the anticipation, the speculation, the expectations…and above all the stress. The ironic part? These aren’t the feelings of most the kids…these are the feelings of the parents.

I think all parents who have children involved in sports experience some of these feelings to one degree or another. It takes a lot of self-awareness on the part of the parent, as well as the child, to not get caught up in the intensity of emotions that can occur. However, we are human, and parenting from the ego can take a strong-hold and hold us prisoner if we are not in a place to recognize it.

This is a topic near and dear to my heart. I have a strong desire for parents to wake up to the appealing pull of the ego-mind, and recognize the effects it has on how we parent. I believe parents have a responsibility to acknowledge the role they play, and take ownership in how they parent. Part of this role involves us committing to understanding and allowing our children to be who they are. And this translates into how we truly value our children.

The truth of the matter is we can only value and accept our children to the degree that we value and accept ourselves.

It’s for this reason that we parent from the ego. If we don’t fully value and accept ourselves, we unconsciously pass these unhealed feelings onto our children, and use their accomplishments and achievements to stand as a symbol for our own value.

It’s all well and good if they end up where you had “hoped” they would, BUT ask yourself…what if they didn’t? How would you react? Would you have the same things to say? Would you feel the same sense of pride and accomplishment?

I hear the choir of rebuttals insisting that “we only want what’s best for them,” or “I’m happy as long as they try their best.” A true indictor of whether you are happy with them trying their best and not having an attachment to the results is your reaction if they don’t place where you had expected.

How would you react? What would you say to your child? Would you be hard on them? Would you place blame on the evaluation process or some external factor? Or would you be able to quickly adjust and make the best of what is?

Sports is an amazing platform to evaluate if we view our world through Tunnel Vision or from the Bigger Picture.

If you’ve asked yourself the above questions, and are willing to admit that parenting from the ego may creep in from time to time (believe me, you wouldn’t be alone)…and you’re ready to take some steps towards being a more open-minded, accepting, and soulful parent…while at the same time discover more about yourself, I’d like to share with you a program that will completely shift how you parent – The Soulful Parent: How to Nurture Your Child’s True Self and Set Their Stage for Growth, Success and Fulfillment.

This is a live event that starts Oct. 2nd. Stay tuned for the self study, and ecourse which are coming soon.

Trisha Savoia is founder/owner of Absolute Awareness, and creator of the The Integrity Code, and The Soulful Parent Programs. Through her programs, writing, and speaking she uses her skills, experience, and intuition as a mother, teacher, Clinical Hypnotherapist, and Entrepreneur to help guide moms to recover their true selves and their intuition, while at the same time learn how to parent so their children can do the same.

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The Irrational, BUT Real Fears of Mothers

As mothers we often wonder if we are alone in the worries we have about our children. Through talking to many moms, what I have found is that it seems to be a common thread that runs through the veins of virtually all mothers. Out of the blue we are struck with a horrid visual of something happening to our beautiful bundle of joy who is sleeping peacefully at the moment.

I can’t speak to why these types of thoughts can interrupt our peace of mind, but I can tell you that you are not alone. Instead of beating ourselves up and creating more worry, what we can do is manage our thoughts so that we can get to a better feeling place.

The tie we have with our children obviously creates an attachment and unconditional love that can cause us to entertain heart breaking thoughts of possibly losing our connection with them. This motherly protection is absolutely normal, however if not managed can lead to us sheltering them beyond what is healthy for their growth. I believe this boils down once again to becoming aware and knowing ourselves so that we don’t
unknowingly pass our fears down to our children thereby setting them up to possibly live their lives based in fear.

I would love to say that I am the exception to the rule and this is something that doesn’t happen to me, but that would be far from the truth. I certainly wouldn’t say I am an over-worrier, but when worries arise they typically revolve around my children and their safety.

Knowing that “helicopter” parenting is not emotionally or mentally healthy for our children, I do catch myself and do what I can to talk myself into a better feeling place so that I can allow them to be easy-going and fun-loving children. But every once in awhile my ego-mind kicks into overdrive and I go against what I intuitively know is best.

Such an occasion happened on our way to Saskatchewan to visit my family this summer. My parents are from a very small town, and in order to get to this town we need to take some poorly maintained roads. As I turned onto the final highway of our destination, it became quickly apparent that I would have to take my time on this road since there were huge pot holes and asphalt broken up in places. This highway does not have a shoulder, and butted up against the highway were many, many sloughs that were filled to capacity due
to all the rain.

Between having heard the story of my dad coming across a lady who died in her truck years ago due to being stuck after having landed in a slough, AND having watched a show about vehicles basically being death traps when immersed in water, seeing all those sloughs along the side of the already treacherous highway created quite a bit of fear in me. Not for myself, but for my kids, because they were to be staying with my parents while I wasn’t there and there would be driving involved.

Unfortunately, the way I initially handled my fear was not great for my kids. I knew intuitively I shouldn’t pass this fear onto them, but my logical, fear-based mind felt an irresistible need to make them aware of this danger, and I justified it by saying I was giving them “safety tips.”

This predictably caused them to be fearful while on that highway.

Initially I struggled between telling my parents that they were not allowed to drive my kids anywhere, and telling myself to get over it. Neither option felt right. Trying to repress my fear did not alleviate it, and saying they couldn’t drive anywhere was unfair to them since it was very limiting.

As I was going to sleep that night, I put out an “asking” for a solution, so that I could feel better about the situation. The next day an idea did come to me that made me feel a whole lot better about them being on that road. The solution was for them to drive with one window open. Because my fear was around the potential of them being trapped within a vehicle if ever submerged in water, the idea of leaving a window open gave me a great sense of relief. Crazy and a little extreme? Perhaps. BUT, the fact is it did alleviate my unreasonable and unrelenting fear. It really didn’t put anybody out by having to accommodate it, other than some wind-blown hair…and besides, that’s a good look!

The reason I am sharing this story at the risk of you finding me a little off my rocker, is because when I told my feelings to my mom, she was very understanding, but also had a response along the lines of, “You teach this. Don’t worry about it or you’ll attract it.”

True, we do attract to us what we put our focused attention on. However, what I don’t teach is denying our own feelings. Whether they seem unreasonable to someone else or not, they are valid to us, therefore not to be disregarded. In this case, I knew trying to convince myself it was okay was only putting a band-aid on how I was really feeling.

So, what can we do when we are caught up in possibly irrational, but very real fears? The answer is get to a better feeling place. Fact is, as mothers we will have worries come up when our kids are involved. We’re mothers; it ain’t ever gonna stop. But you can learn to reframe and talk yourself into feeling better about your fears. When you hit a point of feeling relief, you know you have gotten yourself into a better place vibrationally.

Trisha Savoia is founder/owner of Absolute Awareness, and creator of the The Integrity Code, and The Soulful Parent Programs. Through her programs, writing, and speaking she uses her skills, experience, and intuition as a mother, teacher, Clinical Hypnotherapist, and Entrepreneur to help guide moms to recover their true selves and their intuition, while at the same time learn how to parent so their children can do the same.

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The Lessons of a People-Pleaser

This quote encompasses a huge learning I had to go through to continue to release my people-pleasing tendencies. Being a “recovering” people-pleaser, the idea of someone being upset with me, or not agreeing with what I said or even how I said it absolutely made we lose sleep. It somehow made me feel that what I was doing or saying was “bad.” That there was something about me that was “wrong” and I needed to figure out how to adjust myself and my behaviour to be “better.”

As I began on my personal growth journey it became very obvious early on that this would be one of my greatest lessons…and that it was also a two-part lesson. The first part was learning to speak my truth. The second was being okay with how others took it when I did.

What I came to know and understand was that in accepting myself, my beliefs, and my values meant not necessarily everyone would agree with me. BUT if I was okay with who I was, and what I stood for that was enough. AND what is important is that what I say and do is done with integrity on my part. When that’s the case. PERIOD. There’s nothing left to over-analyze and dwell on.

Learning to accept myself for who I truly am and to understand that I am not “bad” or “wrong” when I speak my truth was an evolution. It didn’t happen all at once, and I’m sure there are still pieces that will continue to surface.

In the end, when we are happy with who we are and are honest in our words and actions, the right people will always be in our lives…and the ones who don’t understand you will fall away.

I am blessed to have an abundance of friends and family that understand this and stick around!

Trisha Savoia is founder/owner of Absolute Awareness, and creator of the The Integrity Code, and The Soulful Parent Programs. Through her programs, writing, and speaking she uses her skills, experience, and intuition as a mother, teacher, Clinical Hypnotherapist, and Entrepreneur to help guide moms to recover their true selves and their intuition, while at the same time learn how to parent so their children can do the same.

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Being Yourself is Easier Said Than Done

Great advice, BUT sometimes this piece of wisdom is easier said than done…without some guidance. WHY? Because we have become so wrapped up in our own stories that we often have bought into them hook, line, and sinker.

 

I know for many years this was true for me.

-I believed my story that it was very important to put “obligations” and others needs above my own…because if I didn’t people may not like and accept me.

-I believed my story that it was better to follow the safer path…because going the path less travelled was risky, scary, and who knew what could happen?!

-I believed my story that I liked being busy…because I didn’t know any other way, and was needing something to fill the void.

-I believed my story that by buying brands names and the “in” items somehow made me “belong”…because everyone else was doing it.

-I believed my story that I was stuck and a victim of my circumstances…because I never understood the bigger picture.

 

Once I challenged my stories and my beliefs, and began to choose what was right for me is when I stepped into being who I truly am.

 

What stories can you challenge about yourself and step into being your true self?

Trisha Savoia is founder/owner of Absolute Awareness, and creator of the The Integrity Code, and The Soulful Parent Programs.  Through her programs, writing, and speaking she uses her skills, experience, and intuition as a mother, teacher, Clinical Hypnotherapist, and Entrepreneur to help guide moms to recover their true selves and their intuition, while at the same time learn how to parent so their children can do the same.

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What’s the Natural Rhythm of Your Life

Well, I’m back into the swing of things! I had decided to take the summer off, and for those of you who read my June blog, I had shared how I felt I needed to follow my gut and take time to focus on just enjoying my kids without having the continual pull to always “be working.”  Last summer I really struggled with this.  Part of me felt I “should” be with my kids, but another part of me felt I “should” be working.  This lead to me not fully enjoying or being in the moment when I was doing either.

This summer I decided I would not to do the same.  It wasn’t fair to my kids, and it wasn’t fair to my peace of mind.  So with that in mind, I took a look at my priorities and being with my kids was top dog.  As much as it scared me to let go of actively working in my business throughout the summer months (except for seeing clients), I had a hunch that that was exactly what I needed.

In all honesty, the need to slow down with my marketing and development started in May.  This felt way too early to be winding down, so I admittedly resisted it for the first bit.  As the feeling continued into June, a little anxiety started to creep in.  By the end of June I was actually starting to wonder if I was ever going to have the urge to work again.  What’s the deal?!

BUT, from past experience I did know that when I let go and trust (which took me awhile to build…and is in constant growth), eventually things turn around.  Ideas, motivation and energy would kick in giving me what I needed to forge ahead with a lot more ease then when I was determined to struggle against my fear of not “doing.”

The push to be busy and productive at all times is a deeply engrained belief in many of us, and living in such a fast paced society does nothing to curb it.  But the truth of the matter is that there is a natural rhythm to life, and when we develop our intuitive sense to the point of knowing how to listen to these cycles, our life becomes a whole lot easier.

There is a time for “doing,” and a time for “being,” and neither of these are typically on the time schedule that we try to set for it.  As much as our conscious mind tries to dictate what we need when, fact is we can’t be in full control of the rhythm of our lives.  When we get rigid and try to is when the struggle creeps in. All we can do is listen and trust, which allows for us to live in ease versus struggle.  When we do this, any action we take becomes that of joy.

By allowing myself the time I needed, I was pleasantly surprised when I was hit with the inspiration to complete a program I had on my mind for quite some time.  Not only was I hit with inspiration, I was also given the time to complete it.  And in the time I was given to complete the program, I found that everything fell into place nicely.  Ideas for implementation and organization; people and resources I needed came my way.

Letting go of my attachment to when things “should” get done, I also found that things I hoped to catch up on during the summer, but wasn’t feeling motivation at all to do, actually eventually got done as well.  Things such as updating my kids school books, organizing, printing, and putting photos into albums, cleaning my office….  Once I let go and thought “oh, they’ll get done when they get done,” the resistance was gone, and I eventually completed everything that I had set the intention to.

Now, I know some of you reading this may be thinking, “Well, that’s nice for you, but that isn’t realistic in my case. I don’t have the freedom to take a break when I need one.  I have deadlines to meet, set hours to work, activities to take my kids to” …or whatever your situation may be.  Believe me, I get what it feels like to feel like I don’t have control over my own life.  I was there for many years, feeling I was stuck, and even resentful when I’d hear of others seemingly “free” lives.

But I’m here to tell you, as well as possibly challenge your long-standing beliefs, that we don’t have to be victim to our circumstances.  Through choices and intentions we have the power to create desired shifts in our lives.  They only need to start out as baby steps, but each step changes the trajectory of where your life is heading.  And I am a firm believer that knowing and understanding who we are, as well as opening up to our intuitive sense (which helps us listen to the rhythm of our life) is the key to unlocking the life we truly want. 

If you are ready and willing to start making some of the shifts needed to live a life of more freedom, fulfillment, meaning, and joy, I’d love to be your guide!

Trisha Savoia is founder/owner of Absolute Awareness, and creator of the The Integrity Code, and The Soulful Parent Programs.  Through her programs, writing, and speaking she uses her skills, experience, and intuition as a mother, teacher, Clinical Hypnotherapist, and Entrepreneur to help guide moms to recover their true selves and their intuition, while at the same time learn how to parent so their children can do the same.

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“If You Think You’re Enlightened Go Spend a Week With Your Family”

I have long loved the quote, “If you think you’re enlightened go spend a week with your family” by Ram Dass.

 

The reason I whole heartedly agree with Ram Dass’ quote is because I believe that as souls we choose to come here (earth) for our greatest learning and spiritual growth, and with that in mind our soul chooses the family we will enter so that we receive what we need in order to gain the greatest learning and growth.  What that usually means is that our family can be our biggest support, but at the same time also our biggest challenge…and in some cases heartache.

 

I know I have grown into a very different person then I was when living with my family, and going back home has definitely been a bench mark for me in how much I have been able to learn and let go.  Each time I return it shows me where I’ve grown, and along with that usually comes a new level of letting go and learning.

 

Without a doubt I always end up learning something else about myself…as well as end up having a greater understanding and compassion for my family.  Granted, the understanding and compassion doesn’t happen immediately…there’s typically a prelude of drama and tension that precedes it.  BUT after taking a step back clarity surfaces.

 

I have always had a great family and feel very blessed and appreciative that we are close knit, but that’s not to say that it has not come with its ups and downs.  Over the years there have been many occurrences of head-butting going on.

 

Being the oldest of four siblings I most definitely fell into the stereotype of the oldest sibling syndorome, commonly referred to as Type A personality.  Whether it truly was because of the order of my birth or not, fact is I now consider myself a “recovering” people-pleaser, perfectionist, over-analyzer, and over-achiever.  It was about 6 or 7 years ago that I set out on a journey of recovery of my true self, and I credit my up-bringing with helping me become who I am now; trials and tribulations included.  I love and embrace who I am now.

 

I now live in Calgary, Alberta, but grew up on a farm in Saskatchewan.  Yep, true farm girl here! As a child I had severe asthma which often resulted with me ending up in the hospital.  I am a believer in Louise Hay’s work which talks about the connection between our health and our emotions.  Louise Hay has studied this for many, many years and found that certain ailments equate to certain emotional states.  Understanding that there is a connection, I was curious what the connection was to asthma.

 

Upon reading that asthma meant “feeling stifled or suffocated by family” I absolutely could see the truth in this.  In stories my mom has told me, she’s the first to admit that she was a nervous wreak when I was born, and would often cry when I cried.  When put into my aunt’s arms as a baby, I would immediately calm.  We are all sensitive to energy, but as children we are even more so, and as an infant I was obviously able to pick up on the distress my mom was sending out.

 

Over the years I did begin to outgrow my asthma to the point that it would only be aggravated if I had a cold.  Once having moved to Calgary the only times my asthma acted up was when I was back home in Saskatchewan.  I always equated that to the fact there were more things I was allergic to on the farm.  However, once I was aware that there is a connection between our health and our emotions, I began to question that, and wondered if there was more to the story.

 

Truth is that when at home I never did feel like I could come home, relax, and go with the flow.  I come from a family of “doers,” and there was an expectation that things needed to get done, and they needed to get done now.  I myself had been a “doer”, BUT being on my own, as well as changing a lot of my beliefs, I had come to understand that being in a state of “being” is as equally important.  So many times when returning home I had an inner struggle of doing what I wanted to do versus doing what I grew up feeling I should do.

 

Over the last several years, not only have I been going through a lot of changes and learning to let go of the beliefs and ways of life that no longer work for me, but the same has also happened with my family.  They have been going through their own journey as well, and at times this has led to some miscommunication and misunderstandings since we are all trying to manoeuvre around and understand each other as we grow and change.

 

I have come to understand myself better, and now know that I need my own space at times.  I enjoy being around people, but after a certain point I hit an “energetic” wall and I then require some space and time to myself.  I never used to honour that, but certainly do now.  In coming to understand myself better, I now have been able to let my family know what I need.  Admittedly the initial delivery of this message was very heated on both sides, but once calming down I believe we both came to a better understanding.

 

We teach others, including our family, how they are able to treat us, and this usually does entail a conversation.  In my case, because we didn’t have a lot of these types of conversations growing up, it was unfamiliar territory and instead of having a reasonable conversation about our needs, it often started as an argument.  To our credit, this usually eventually led to a conversation and coming to a deeper understanding.

 

In the process of beginning to honour my needs, I noticed a shift in my asthma when I would return home.  I no longer have been having issues with my asthma when in Saskatchewan!  HOWEVER, this does not mean that there is not still growth to be had.

 

Although my asthma has no longer been an issue, triggers still occur with family since our growth is never ending, and I continue to learn something about myself every time I am around my family…some lessons being gentler than others.

Trisha Savoia is founder/owner of Absolute Awareness, and creator of the Best Mom You Can Be Program.  Through her programs, writing, and speaking she uses her skills and experience as a mother, teacher, & Clinical Hypnotherapist to mentor moms who want to become the best mom they can be by beginning to focus on themselves first.

She teaches moms how to slow down, understand their true values & priorities, implement self-care & self-awareness, thereby opening up to their intuition to create their own fulfilment, meaning, purpose, and happiness. …which of course, all gets passed down to the children who can then retain their intuitive sense, and grow from a place of knowing the truth of who they are.

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Tea Time with Trish: My Summer Struggle

Summer is upon us and with that it has been bringing up mixed feelings for me.  The reason for these mixed feelings is because my higher self and my ego mind have been battling it out!  Since I have gone into business for myself, I know that the direction my business takes lies directly on my shoulders.   Most times I embrace the fact that I control my own future, however, in all honesty at times this can also scare the crap out of me!

 

The reason for the recent mixed feelings is because I really want to focus on being in the moment of being a mom, without the constant pull to feel like I “should” be doing something to keep up the momentum of my business.  If you talk to any marketer it is absolutely imperative to remain consistently visible so that we don’t get forgotten.  Although I do believe this to be true, I also feel that it is even more important to be in integrity at all times.

 

Because of this I have set a structure for myself within my business, BUT I have also made a commitment to myself that I will only send out material and posts that I feel guided to; ones that I feel will bring genuine value. For the summer, part of me is excited to relax on the structure that I have set up…and another part of me is scared to let go of it.

 

If you have read any of my past material you may have heard me refer to our higher self and our ego mind.  Our higher self is what calls us to do what is for our best and highest good.  Our ego mind is engulfed in fear.

 

In this case I know that it is my ego mind that is trying to keep me safe by not veering off course, but I also know that my higher self is strongly calling me to relax, enjoy my kids, and allow the seeds that I have already planted to take root.  There are cycles we go through, so we aren’t always meant to be in “doing” mode.  However, this causes a lot of fear for our ego.

 

Be being aware, we can easily determine which mind is talking to us, and it is up to us which one we listen to.  When these situations arise, which they do for all of us, I ask myself the question, “If I wasn’t afraid, what would I do?”

 

Based on the answer to that question, I am letting go of the well intentioned advice of marketers and doing what I know is best for my priorities at this times….and right now my priority is to spend focused time with my family.  And because it is coming from my highest self, I trust that all is happening as it should.

 

Why am I sharing this?  First to share how fear creeps in for everyone and its how we respond and handle it that is important.  I believe that the key to handling it well is awareness.  And secondly to let you know that I will be easing up a little this summer, and am committing to sending out one blog a month versus my usual weekly blog (you may or may not have noticed that in June I went to bi-weekly).  I am however still available to contact, and will continue to work with clients, but you will see me slow down on my writing, as well as, social media for a couple months.

 

Come September I am planning another 10 Week Best Mom You Can Be Group Program.  Dates are still to come, but if you are interested, drop me a line trisha@absoluteawareness.ca.

 

So having said all this, enjoy your summer; stay in the moment with your kids; and take the time to nurture yourself in nature.  I know I will!

 

Trisha Savoia is founder/owner of Absolute Awareness, and creator of the Best Mom You Can Be Program.  Through her programs, writing, and speaking she uses her skills and experience as a mother, teacher, & Clinical Hypnotherapist to mentor moms who want to become the best mom they can be by beginning to focus on themselves first.

She teaches moms how to slow down, understand their true values & priorities, implement self-care & self-awareness, thereby opening up to their intuition to create their own fulfilment, meaning, purpose, and happiness. …which of course, all gets passed down to the children who can then retain their intuitive sense, and grow from a place of knowing the truth of who they are.

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Tea Time with Trish: Reconciling with my “Spiritual Side”

I’ve been on a conscious journey for quite a few years.  Before that I was still on a journey…just an unconscious one.  I was living my life by default not realizing that I really was the creator of my own life.

 

Once I woke up to the fact that I had more control over my own life than I realized, I began an avid search to begin to unpeel the layers of unconsciousness that I had allowed to occur…albeit unknowingly.  These layers that I speak of were layers of beliefs that I had bought into over the years, because at the time I didn’t know that I had the choice to disregard them.

 

These layers that create a shell around the spark of who we really are begin at a very young age, so by the time we wake up to the fact that there is a different way, many of us have forgotten who we truly are…it’s been buried for so many years.

 

This certainly was the case for me.  However, I do not have a single regret with how my journey evolved.  I also don’t blame any outside sources for the reasons it happened.  It was, and still is, my journey, and I would not be where I am, doing what I love to do, if I didn’t have to go on a quest to peel away the layers to who I am.

 

Although it did not start this way, it eventually became evident to me that this journey I was on was in fact a spiritual journey.

 

What?  Who me…spiritual?  But I’m a Catholic girl from a small Saskatchewan town (yep, about 250 people in all) that was raised going to church every weekend.  What’s this about spirituality?

 

As I continued to explore this new world, I began to realize that I considered myself more spiritual than I did religious.  Thanks to my parents, I always grew up knowing that all religions were okay, it was more a matter of which path you chose to get there.  I already had this deeply embedded in my belief system.

 

Along the way, I also encountered some deeply devoted Catholics and Christians that were highly religious.  It was this contrast that allowed me to settle into the fact that I considered myself spiritual…not religious.  I have absolutely nothing against any religion, and in fact have read on many, and take from them what works for me, however, I also don’t feel I have to commit myself to just one, hence my reason for using the word spiritual.

 

I may ruffle some feathers here, but to me the idea of spirituality felt less judgemental and more open-minded.  Although I don’t think we always need to define ourselves with labels, it did feel right to use that word to define my beliefs.  I am very open-minded to learning and exploring more, knowing one book doesn’t have all the answers, but that answers can be found in many forms.

 

Now this brought with it a whole new idea to explore.  Hmm?  Spiritual, eh?  What exactly does that look like?

 

I continued my avid search for knowledge and wisdom related to the idea of spirituality, and I came across many leaders in the world of spirituality.  I learned a lot from these leaders, and assimilated what worked for me into my life.  I also began to meet in-person some people who also considered themselves spiritual.

 

Although admirable, what I was seeing began to make me question my idea of spirituality and whether that’s a path I want to be on; I didn’t know if I could adhere to the discipline these people seemed to have.  From my perspective at that time (keep in mind everything we see and hear is filtered through our own perspective) spiritual people seemed very serious; that life was serious.  I struggled with thinking that everything I said and did needed to come from a space of higher awareness, and that some of the human mistakes I made demoted me from my “spiritual status”…I wasn’t living up to the standards of what I believed a spiritual person looked like.

 

I now realize that stage I went through was a necessary step in defining who I was and what my definition of spiritual was.  I believe we are in a time of modern spirituality; a time where no one but ourselves defines what it means to be spiritual.

 

For me, spirituality means having a connection to ourselves; to what we consider our higher power.  It means self-care, self-awareness, and self-growth.  It means growing into our best versions of ourselves, and that it has no one direct path there…it will look different for everyone.

 

It does not mean having to travel to India, and meditating for hours on end.  It does not mean taking life and our journey seriously (that was totally my own perception…no one directly taught me that).  It does not mean isolating yourself, and only surrounding yourself with people on the same path you are on.  It does not mean I have to curb my sarcastic sense of humor, or kick anyone to the curb.

 

Bottomline to me it means living your life open-minded, accepting, free of judgments (that includes of yourself), being willing to continue to learn, and readjusting when the inevitable “human” mistakes happen….and above all living with a sense of humour and lightness of heart.

 

Spirituality is not serious business….it’s your business.

Trisha Savoia is founder/owner of Absolute Awareness, and creator of the Best Mom You Can Be Program.  Through her programs, writing, and speaking she uses her skills and experience as a mother, teacher, & Clinical Hypnotherapist to mentor moms who want to become the best mom they can be by beginning to focus on themselves first.

She teaches moms how to slow down, understand their true values & priorities, implement self-care & self-awareness, thereby opening up to their intuition to create their own fulfilment, meaning, purpose, and happiness. …which of course, all gets passed down to the children who can then retain their intuitive sense, and grow from a place of knowing the truth of who they are.

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