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Archive for the ‘Spirituality’ Category

grow and learn with intuitionThe last couple months I haven’t been on the blogging scene.  I know this goes against common “marketing” practices, however what I have found for myself is that I go through cycles of what I call “cocooning.”  Sure, I could force myself to write during these times, but since I’m all about listening to my intuition, that would kinda go against the grain of what I believe.

Here’s what I’ve come to learn and know.  What it means during these times where I just don’t feel quite as inspired to be sending out blogs, I have always been in a period of growth and learning.   Sometimes it’s a result of something that has happened within my life and I need time to process and understand (not in a traumatic way…it can be something very simple to trigger greater clarity).  Other times it comes from a shifting on the inside…and I’m not always entirely sure where it’s coming from.  BUT I do trust it’s leading me somewhere even better!

By allowing myself the time to let it all just sink in without the pressure of having to stick to some sort of self-imposed timeline, I come back to my writing with more clarity, purpose, and a deeper understanding…which I then get to share with you!  See…it’s really a win-win!!!

BUT just because I haven’t been on the blogging scene, doesn’t mean I haven’t been on the creating scene!  I’ve had several things going on behind the scenes, one of which had been an ebook I had collaborated and put together called The Soulful Parent: How to Nurture Your Child’s True Self and Set the Stage for Growth, Success, and Fulfillment.  If you haven’t got your hands on this ebook yet, click on the image to GRAB YOUR FREE COPY NOW:

The Soulful Parent eBook

So, with that said, I’m feeling inspired and excited to see the unfolding of the rest of our story. Stay tuned…

PS.  I’VE MOVED!!!  I have set up my blog in a new location, so I’d love for you to move with me to my new location. By signing up to receive the above ebook will also ensure that you receive my new blogs.  My new location is http://www.absoluteawareness.ca/blog/.

PSS. Check out my NEWEST BLOGExpectations Affect Our Children By…

Trisha SavoiaTrisha Savoia is founder/owner of Absolute Awareness, and creator of the The Integrity Code, and The Soulful Parent Programs. Through her programs, writing, and speaking she uses her skills, experience, and intuition as a mother, teacher, and Clinical Hypnotherapist to help guide parents to recover their true selves and their intuition, while at the same time learn how to parent so their children can do the same.

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The Soulful Parent Course

Untitled-1 copyI just finished wrapping up my 10 Week The Soulful Parent In-Person Course.  It was such a fabulous 10 weeks, with an amazing group of ladies that it was sad to see it end…but a new journey begins.  There was much discussion, learning…and A LOT of laughter!

I also felt the same when my last spring course came to an end.  I have been blessed with many amazing women entering my life….wanting both personal growth, as well as parental insights & awarenesses.  Because of this a strong bond between like-minded women quickly occurs, and it makes us all feel united in our paths.  …And I especially love the laughter that ensues that keeps life light-hearted, and makes us all realize we are certainly not alone is some of the “mistakes” we make…so why not just laugh at them.

So, I am excited to announce a few things:

1) I will be holding another 10 Week The Soulful Parent In-Person Course in the spring starting on March 6thClick here for details and to register.

2) In the New Year I am launching The Soulful Parent eCourse, so for those of you who don’t live in the local Calgary, Alberta area the course will now be available to work through either as a self-study, or with the option of personal coaching.

3) January 29th, I will be launching The Soulful Parent ebook along with 20 other amazing contributing authors that will blow your socks off.  I’m in the process of putting this book together and I am thrilled with the content I’ve been receiving.  So, stay posted for the launch of this FREE ebook!

Below are what a few moms had to say about The Soulful Parent Course:

“I just feel compelled to write to your right now.  I have to let you know how so much of what you say strikes a personal chord with me…and I mean big time.  You are helping me so much on my path it’s unbelievable.  I knew when my friend told me about you and your Soulful Parent course that it was for me.  I had no idea to what extent.  Its gone way beyond what I expected and is helping me not only with my parenting, but as you share your stories of your personal spiritual growth, you’re helping me pave my way.  So thank you from the bottom of my heart.”  

 Monique

“I just wanted to thank you for the past 10 weeks of The Soulful Parent course.  I feel so much clearer and purposeful.  I have a different relationship with my children and am so excited that I can help them understand their true selves.  You are doing truly great work!”

 

Michelle

Honestly, starting the class, I really didn’t know what to expect. I was hoping to gain a few nuggets of wisdom, discover a couple new ways to raise my children and overall just become a “better” parent.

What ended up happening was a dramatic shift in how I look at…well everything. It changed how I see my children, how I approach my “job” as mom and overall, how I view parenting. I realized it’s not our job to shape and mould our children into who WE want them to be; rather it’s our job to simply guide and be there for them as they grow and become who THEY are supposed to be.

Throughout each week during the class, I was given new insights and “lightbulb moments” that really changed my perspective on my boys and my parenting. I was forced to really see my children and understand how they approach the world, what unique characteristics make them who they are and what I can do to support and nurture that.

We are so programmed by society and past generations – and a lot of time, as parents, we just go through the motions. We parent on auto-pilot, often spewing out “because I said so, that’s why” or “I’ll give you something to cry about” or “because I’m your Mom and I know best.”

The Soulful Parenting course allowed me to really understand, while we obviously live in a physical, material world, that to live a truly happy and authentic life, we need to raise our children with a spiritual conscience.

We need to understand this generation of kids being born are far more spiritually advanced and in-tune than in years past. They are sensitive and empathic and really are the people that will change the world. And we need to start parenting these children with a new understanding, an open heart and a new kind of communication.

THANK YOU Trish, for everything you shared, everything you taught and everything you did. The ripple effects of each lesson are still being felt in every area of my life. With so many classes being offered on discipline or child rearing, all designed to fit into a specific box or quickly label our children, your course has shown me that each child needs to be celebrated and nurtured in their own specific and unique way.

I am forever indebted.

Joanne

The Integrity Code

There’s no way to avoid the fact that how you parent your children is a direct result of how you treat, love and accept yourself.  To be the best version of yourself you need to recover your intuition and your true self, so that you can model that for your children.

The Integrity Code dovetails beautifully with The Soulful Parent, because who you are as a person, what you value, and where your priorities are will impact the way you live your life as well as how you parent.

I will be holding another In-Town Weekend The Integrity Code Retreat.  I will be holding it in April with specific dates to come.  Click here for details.  Please contact me at trisha@absoluteawareness.ca if you are interested.

Once again, this course will also be available as an eCourse sometime in the New Year!

 

Wine & Align:

Soulful Discipline

Being a parent isn’t always an easy task.  We are bombarded with so much information and advice that at times it’s difficult to know what is the “right” thing to do for our children.  We can find a plethora of “how-to” manuals, but the bottom line is that the best parenting practice is Soulful Parenting.

What is Soulful Parenting? Soulful Parenting is truly allowing our children be who they are and to honour their true selves.  It is parenting using our own intuition to understand and know our children.

…And what this translates into is knowing that there is no one tried and true method of discipline, but that each situation requires us as parents to filter our decisions and actions through our intuition.  We can equip ourselves with suggestions, ideas and knowledge, but there is no replacement for truly knowing our children, understanding their needs, and using our intuition to choose the best forms of discipline…and parenting.

This evening will be a discussion group revolving around the topic of disciplining our children coming from the perspective of Soulful Parenting.

January 23rd, 2013 from 7 – 9pm.  Click here for details.

Register:  trisha@AbsoluteAwareness.ca

Payment:

1)      Email Money Transfer to trisha@AbsoluteAwareness.ca. Code word: Trisha

2)       Cash (please bring exact change)

Trisha Savoia is founder/owner of Absolute Awareness, and creator of the The Integrity Code, and The Soulful Parent Programs. Through her programs, writing, and speaking she uses her skills, experience, and intuition as a mother, teacher, Clinical Hypnotherapist, and Entrepreneur to help guide moms to recover their true selves and their intuition, while at the same time learn how to parent so their children can do the same.

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Absolute AwarenessHave you ever been in the shower or blow drying your hair or driving while you were thinking about what someone said or did…or perhaps even something you said or did?  And in the thinking about it you created a bigger story about it than it was?

No?  Am I alone in that?  I suspect not.  The places may be different, but many of us get caught up from time to time in over-thinking and over-analyzing. 

I recently caught myself doing this exact thing.  I created my own personal mind-drama…and the more I thought about it and talked about it, the bigger it got.  And because I like to understand anything that triggers me, I kept analyzing myself and trying to figure out why I was feeling the way I was feeling…and I also began to analyze and assume how the other party may be thinking and feeling.

I created a whole mind-drama. …And the reason I say “mind-drama” is because fortunately it was all just in my mind, and I didn’t exacerbate it by talking about it to anyone who would listen.  However, as I’m sure you all know, this can happen as well.  In trying to feel “right” with how we are feeling, we often share the story with others in hopes they will validate our feelings.

Regardless, even though it wasn’t outward drama, it was drama all the same for me.  I was over-thinking what I had said, and how I was feeling.  And once having spoken to the individual this situation involved, I couldn’t help but laugh at my silliness when I learned that she hadn’t been thinking any of the things I had created in my story.

The reason I am sharing this is because we need to become aware that the assumptions and analyzing that we make about what others are thinking or how they may be feeling, are skewed and filtered through our own emotions.  Because of this we jump to conclusions that may not be true and can be very harmful both to ourselves and any others involved.

For this reason, I am a huge advocate of speaking up and expressing your feelings in order to get clarification. But most of all I think we need to catch ourselves when our thoughts begin to override our mind.   It happens to the best of us, no one is immune.  …and self-awareness is the key.

Trisha Savoia is founder/owner of Absolute Awareness, and creator of the The Integrity Code, and The Soulful Parent Programs. Through her programs, writing, and speaking she uses her skills, experience, and intuition as a mother, teacher, Clinical Hypnotherapist, and Entrepreneur to help guide moms to recover their true selves and their intuition, while at the same time learn how to parent so their children can do the same.

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We are so hard on ourselves.  This is not only an individual problem; it’s a Universal one.  Somewhere along the line we bought into the belief that we are somehow “less than” when we make foolish choices or mistakes.

Because of that we are also hard on others.  On some level it makes us feel better to judge other people’s choices and mistakes.  It gives us the illusion of feeling we know better, therefore we are better.  This is simply the coping mechanism many have created in order to release some of the pressure we feel within our own lives.

Whether it be judging others or judging ourselves, the bottom line of it all is that we are not loving and accepting ourselves fully and completely.

So how do we begin choosing to love ourselves? 

First of all, I strongly believe it boils down to awareness.  When we become aware that we are hard on ourselves as well as others, we can begin to choose differently.  Secondly, being hard on ourselves didn’t happen overnight…and neither will the journey toward accepting ourselves.  Because of the many ways we have learned to not love and accept ourselves, means that we have some work to do in learning how to.

Here are also some concrete steps we can take towards loving and accepting ourselves:

1)      Speak up – we need to begin to speak up for ourselves, and let our needs be known.  There is a tendency to hope that others can read our mind…but they can’t!  Every time we ask for our needs to be met we are loving ourselves a little bit more.  This can be in the form of something we need, as well as setting boundaries with others. Whether someone hears you are not, you change your perception of yourself by speaking up for what you need.

2)      Laugh about it – each time we feel we make a mistake, we need to be light-hearted about it.  We create stories in our mind that lead us to feel shame.  By making light of it releases the shame around it. Consciously decide to laugh about the silliness of it versus sinking into the depths of shame.

3)      Share it – share the story of your “mistake” with someone you trust.  When we stay in our own minds, it often feels bigger than it really is.  By sharing it with others we not only realize we probably aren’t the only ones who have felt the same way, but we also release the inner struggle and shame we had around that story.  Sharing is having the courage to show your true self…no matter what.  Sharing the truth of who you are releases the power the “secrets” have had over you.  It brings light to the shame.

4)      Feel it – we often feel shame and anger for some of the choices and mistakes we make, and because these are uncomfortable feelings we tend to quickly push them away rather than feel them.  Allow yourself to feel what comes up for you.  Know that it’s okay to feel that way.  Give yourself permission to express it a healthy manner (ie. cry, journal your anger, exercise).  Doing this releases the hold it has.

5)      Take action – if there are things that you have been wanting to change in your life, by taking action on them the energetic patterns in your life will change.  Whether it’s big or small, taking action begins to create ripples of change.  Each time we get out of our comfort zone, we feel the power of the love for ourselves.

“Loving yourself is the greatest work you will do in this life.  In a sense it is your only work.”

 ~ Daphne Kingma

Trisha Savoia is founder/owner of Absolute Awareness, and creator of the The Integrity Code, and The Soulful Parent Programs. Through her programs, writing, and speaking she uses her skills, experience, and intuition as a mother, teacher, Clinical Hypnotherapist, and Entrepreneur to help guide moms to recover their true selves and their intuition, while at the same time learn how to parent so their children can do the same.

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As parents we have an incredible influence on the level of our children’s self-esteem.  The knowledge of this can create some fear, and even guilt with how we may be parenting, but the answer to developing a depth of trust that creates a healthy self-esteem is a lot simpler then we sometimes make it.

We often go to extremes in exposing our children to different experiences, and boosting their confidence with praise, and enrolling them in a myriad of activities to hone their skills and talents.  All of this is done with the best of intentions, and the underlying core is that we want our children to grow up with a healthy self-esteem…and in a nutshell, to be happy.  But the solution need not be so complicated.

We have sometimes lost sight of the fact that the solution to reaching a deep and meaningful relationship with our children boils down to one thing…communication.

We get caught up in the rat race and speed of life, running them around from activity to activity that we’ve lost the simplest form of influence in their life…conversation. One of the most effective forms of creating high levels of self-esteem and confidence is letting them know that they are heard and they are seen; that they’re not just some project that we need to mould and transform.

Creating a safe place for trust is monumental in opening the doors to building a relationship with our children that lets them know we are always there for them.  By being a stable source in their lives creates a security and foundation that allows them to grow into who they are.  By knowing you are the source, you will become the sounding-board they need as they grow, experience and explore.

What I’ve found to be effective with my children is having established a “safe place.”  This doesn’t necessarily have to be a static place, but can be more of an energetic safety zone where they can talk to you openly.  I let my children know that whenever they ask to speak in the “safe place” that they are able to share whatever they want with me, without the fear of me getting angry, judging, and having to “fix” whatever is going on for them.

The “safe place” is a place to let go of their fears, concerns, and troubling thoughts, as well as ask questions. Having done this has led to some truly amazingly conversations, and has laid the groundwork for building a relationship of trust and acceptance.

If you are wanting to develop a depth of trust with your children that paves the way for building a strong self-esteem and sense of self, I believe starting with a “safe place” is a great place to start!

Trisha Savoia is founder/owner of Absolute Awareness, and creator of the The Integrity Code, and The Soulful Parent Programs. Through her programs, writing, and speaking she uses her skills, experience, and intuition as a mother, teacher, Clinical Hypnotherapist, and Entrepreneur to help guide moms to recover their true selves and their intuition, while at the same time learn how to parent so their children can do the same.

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My husband once overheard me talking to someone saying, “there is chaos before the calm,” and he thought that I was mixing up a common cliché.  The reason this comment seemed odd to him is that most of us have never been taught that all the struggle, hardship, drama, and conflict that occurs in our life is actually a catalyst to creating change…if we are willing to view it that way.

Instead we tend to over-analyze, over-think, and beat ourselves up for the “chaos” that is occurring in our lives.  We feel like we are doing something wrong, and as an extension, we are “less than.”

But the truth of the matter is that without some of the chaos rising to the surface, we aren’t always aware of what needs to be changed.  Our chaos, our triggers, and the way we react to them are simply highlighting what needs to be looked at in our lives.

At this point we hit a fork in the road.  We can choose to become consumed with the drama, conflict, and struggle; choosing to blame outside factors for it happening.  Or we can choose to see it for what it is…something isn’t working; we can dig a little deeper and go inward to see exactly what it is that is no longer working for us.

Depending on our choice, we will either continue forward resisting and creating more struggle, or we will begin to see the “bigger picture” which will lead us to creating needed changes that are going to eventually lead to the calm that we all desire.

Trisha Savoia is founder/owner of Absolute Awareness, and creator of the The Integrity Code, and The Soulful Parent Programs. Through her programs, writing, and speaking she uses her skills, experience, and intuition as a mother, teacher, Clinical Hypnotherapist, and Entrepreneur to help guide moms to recover their true selves and their intuition, while at the same time learn how to parent so their children can do the same.

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Self-love and acceptance is a Universal problem.  It is the underscore of the challenges and struggles we have in our lives.  It is what causes us to be so hard on ourselves.

I recently came face to face with having to acknowledge that there were still parts of myself I did not love and accept, and these parts were causing me to continue the cycle of self-doubt, and self-criticism.  It wasn’t that I was consciously suppressing these feelings, because the truth is that I truly was feeling great about myself and my life.  I’ve done a lot of work on becoming the person I know and want to be, and I felt good about that.

BUT now there was no denying that I was coming to a whole new level and layer of loving and accepting myself at a deeper level.  Upon this realization it didn’t take long to recognize where I was still over-analyzing and questioning myself.  As frustrating as it was to admit this to myself (and now to you), it was equalling as liberating.  I was finally giving myself permission to feel the emotions that I was keeping at bay.

For some reason my perfectionism was continuing to seep through and make me believe that I should be better.  This took on a whole new meaning for me with what I now do for a living.  I recognized the shame, guilt, and disappointment I had in myself for even having some of the thoughts and feelings I had.  Because of that, I never really allowed myself to feel them.

BUT the time for that finally came…and I’m going to share with you the roller coaster of emotion that I went through as I began to accept these feelings and thoughts.  As I was going through it, I began to document what was going through my mind.

If you’ve ever taken one of my courses, or read any of my articles you may have come across me talking about seeing the “Bigger Picture.”  To me the bigger picture is about seeing things from a broader perspective so that we can understand ourselves and others, as well as become self-aware enough so that when things arise we can see that they are happening for a reason.

Well, I’m good at seeing the “Bigger Picture”…great at it in fact.  This is a blessing…BUT what I was also beginning to see was that it was causing me to not allow myself to feel certain emotions in the moment.  Because I could always see where another person was coming from or why something crappy was happening, I was really good at reframing the situation so that I could come from a place of understanding and compassion.

In most cases, I truly did feel good about seeing the bigger picture, and it really helped me to process things.  However, what started happening for me was that past pains were starting to surface.  Once again, I knew why it was happening…it was time to deal with them and release them, BUT I was using my reframing to skim over what was really needed.

I needed to feel it.  I needed to be okay with being “less than perfect” in my words, my thoughts, my feelings, and even my actions.  I needed to show my cracks and flaws so that I could begin to accept those parts of myself as well.

I’ve decided to copy excerpts of  what I wrote  from my journal, because although it’s not articulate and concise, I really did let out all my frustrations, doubts and questions…and in doing so I truly felt a lifting of the heaviness:

Many times when I was around authority figures or “experts’ I would value what they told me over what my own intuition was telling me.  I often allowed myself to feel like a little girl who was lost and didn’t know right from wrong; that I was somehow bad, and needed to be told the “right way”; that I needed to be told what I “should” be doing, or “shouldn’t” be saying.  This led me to over-think and over-analyze the things I said and did.  It was exhausting…it still can be exhausting.  My fear of not being liked was so strong and I questioned and doubted things after the fact…even though they were said or done with good intentions.  What if they took it the wrong way?  Maybe I should be more clear?  What if my reactions weren’t “spiritual” and inline with the new me that I have grown into?  I’ll be judged and doubted in my work.  

Where’s the balance of feeling what I’m feeling and seeing the bigger picture?  My feelings are wrong.  I shouldn’t judge; I shouldn’t have anger; I shouldn’t be frustrated with someone else’s actions…or lack thereof.  I know better.  I see the bigger picture.  They come from a place of pain and unknowing and lack of self-love.  Where’s my compassion?

Ok, the real question is, where is the compassion for myself?  Yes, we are human.  We have many less than “ideal” thoughts and moments.  It happens.  It’s  unintentional.  What matters is what you do next with those thoughts and moments; how you handle it after you become aware of it.

Those “weak” moments made me feel I didn’t do enough work on myself.  How broken am I?  What am I missing?  I felt shame for not having risen above the ego-mind; shame for not fully loving myself; shame and embarrassment for people possibly having seen through that and judging my lack of awareness.  

Oh trust me…I knew.  I knew my heart and head were in battle…and that sometimes my head was winning.  I knew these were all symptoms of not feeding my soul needs.  I even knew what I needed to do in order to feed my soul…but I wasn’t doing it.  For some reason I was letting my mind win, and I felt bad for letting it win.  I felt unevolved and unaware and unenlightened for even viewing it as a battle.

I was afraid others would think I’d taken “steps back” in my journey; that I wasn’t progressing.  I was afraid they wouldn’t see all the changes and progress that I made; for the many ways I do now love myself more than ever before.  This was just a nudge in the direction of embracing more of myself.  Will others see that or judge me?

The layers of self-doubt, self-criticism, and self-deprecation seemed endless.  Where does it stop?  How deep are these wounds?  Where the hell did I get these wounds?  I had (and have) a great life…what’s the deal?  Why am I still disowning parts of myself?  Better question yet, what are all the parts?

I know better than to place blame.  We are all creators of our own lives.  But I’m angry damn it!  Who is responsible?  Why do I now have to pick up the pieces of my seemingly shattered soul?

I thought I completely released all facades of myself…and yet I find another.  This one feels scarier to let go of.  I mean, I’m “spiritual” now, so how bad would it look to admit that not all my thoughts are “spiritual”?  That in fact I’ve even given myself permission to have non-spiritual thoughts and words so that I could let someone else feel that I understand what they are going through.  Because I do understand…but at the same time I also see the bigger picture.  Well, that’s just annoying to others.  I don’t want to be annoying; I want to be liked.

I know I need to speak my truth, but not everyone likes what they hear.  That scares me.  I want people to like what they hear.  Not only for my own validation, but because I have such a strong desire to bring awareness.  If I’m silent, nothing can change.  But am I the one to say it?  Is it my place?

I finally now trust my intuition and the messages I receive, both for myself and others… I feel strong in that.  But a new layer of self-trust is rising.  Trusting myself to speak my truth in integrity…and being okay when not all others agree.

Even in writing this, I feel myself loving and accepting myself more and more.  A shift is happening.

I was so attached to the worry of others judging me, but the real problem lie in the fact that I so harshly judged myself.  We often feel like we are the only ones who may think and feel this way, but as I already mentioned, this is a Universal problem…and I would like to shed light on it, so that we can all begin to be a lot gentler with ourselves.

Self-love and acceptance isn’t all or nothing.  Over time I’ve come to love and embrace myself more and more.  With each step I take toward accepting parts of myself and discovering who I really am, I grow more confident, content, and fulfilled.  But it is an on-going process.  For many of us we’ve disowned and disconnected from many parts of ourselves, so the journey back to wholeness will take commitment, awareness, and time.  

Whatever form your lack of self-love takes, you can begin to change it through understanding and awareness of how you came to be so hard on yourself in the first place.  This is the key to heal.

I finally came to the realization I had it wrong…self-love and acceptance and being my true self wasn’t about changing myself so that I could love myself;  being my true self was about accepting my imperfections and not having to overhaul everything I am to feel good about myself.  It’s about loving myself, faults and all, as I learn to grow to become more of who I am.

So my secret’s out of the bag…I’m not perfect; I’m still flawed.  Gasp!  And I’m okay with that (most of the time…it’s still an evolution).  Are you?

My story isn’t unique, and the reason I am willing to bare my soul is because I know my biggest ah-ah moments have been when others were willing to share theirs.

Trisha Savoia is founder/owner of Absolute Awareness, and creator of the The Integrity Code, and The Soulful Parent Programs. Through her programs, writing, and speaking she uses her skills, experience, and intuition as a mother, teacher, Clinical Hypnotherapist, and Entrepreneur to help guide moms to recover their true selves and their intuition, while at the same time learn how to parent so their children can do the same.

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