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The Soulful Parent Course

Untitled-1 copyI just finished wrapping up my 10 Week The Soulful Parent In-Person Course.  It was such a fabulous 10 weeks, with an amazing group of ladies that it was sad to see it end…but a new journey begins.  There was much discussion, learning…and A LOT of laughter!

I also felt the same when my last spring course came to an end.  I have been blessed with many amazing women entering my life….wanting both personal growth, as well as parental insights & awarenesses.  Because of this a strong bond between like-minded women quickly occurs, and it makes us all feel united in our paths.  …And I especially love the laughter that ensues that keeps life light-hearted, and makes us all realize we are certainly not alone is some of the “mistakes” we make…so why not just laugh at them.

So, I am excited to announce a few things:

1) I will be holding another 10 Week The Soulful Parent In-Person Course in the spring starting on March 6thClick here for details and to register.

2) In the New Year I am launching The Soulful Parent eCourse, so for those of you who don’t live in the local Calgary, Alberta area the course will now be available to work through either as a self-study, or with the option of personal coaching.

3) January 29th, I will be launching The Soulful Parent ebook along with 20 other amazing contributing authors that will blow your socks off.  I’m in the process of putting this book together and I am thrilled with the content I’ve been receiving.  So, stay posted for the launch of this FREE ebook!

Below are what a few moms had to say about The Soulful Parent Course:

“I just feel compelled to write to your right now.  I have to let you know how so much of what you say strikes a personal chord with me…and I mean big time.  You are helping me so much on my path it’s unbelievable.  I knew when my friend told me about you and your Soulful Parent course that it was for me.  I had no idea to what extent.  Its gone way beyond what I expected and is helping me not only with my parenting, but as you share your stories of your personal spiritual growth, you’re helping me pave my way.  So thank you from the bottom of my heart.”  

 Monique

“I just wanted to thank you for the past 10 weeks of The Soulful Parent course.  I feel so much clearer and purposeful.  I have a different relationship with my children and am so excited that I can help them understand their true selves.  You are doing truly great work!”

 

Michelle

Honestly, starting the class, I really didn’t know what to expect. I was hoping to gain a few nuggets of wisdom, discover a couple new ways to raise my children and overall just become a “better” parent.

What ended up happening was a dramatic shift in how I look at…well everything. It changed how I see my children, how I approach my “job” as mom and overall, how I view parenting. I realized it’s not our job to shape and mould our children into who WE want them to be; rather it’s our job to simply guide and be there for them as they grow and become who THEY are supposed to be.

Throughout each week during the class, I was given new insights and “lightbulb moments” that really changed my perspective on my boys and my parenting. I was forced to really see my children and understand how they approach the world, what unique characteristics make them who they are and what I can do to support and nurture that.

We are so programmed by society and past generations – and a lot of time, as parents, we just go through the motions. We parent on auto-pilot, often spewing out “because I said so, that’s why” or “I’ll give you something to cry about” or “because I’m your Mom and I know best.”

The Soulful Parenting course allowed me to really understand, while we obviously live in a physical, material world, that to live a truly happy and authentic life, we need to raise our children with a spiritual conscience.

We need to understand this generation of kids being born are far more spiritually advanced and in-tune than in years past. They are sensitive and empathic and really are the people that will change the world. And we need to start parenting these children with a new understanding, an open heart and a new kind of communication.

THANK YOU Trish, for everything you shared, everything you taught and everything you did. The ripple effects of each lesson are still being felt in every area of my life. With so many classes being offered on discipline or child rearing, all designed to fit into a specific box or quickly label our children, your course has shown me that each child needs to be celebrated and nurtured in their own specific and unique way.

I am forever indebted.

Joanne

The Integrity Code

There’s no way to avoid the fact that how you parent your children is a direct result of how you treat, love and accept yourself.  To be the best version of yourself you need to recover your intuition and your true self, so that you can model that for your children.

The Integrity Code dovetails beautifully with The Soulful Parent, because who you are as a person, what you value, and where your priorities are will impact the way you live your life as well as how you parent.

I will be holding another In-Town Weekend The Integrity Code Retreat.  I will be holding it in April with specific dates to come.  Click here for details.  Please contact me at trisha@absoluteawareness.ca if you are interested.

Once again, this course will also be available as an eCourse sometime in the New Year!

 

Wine & Align:

Soulful Discipline

Being a parent isn’t always an easy task.  We are bombarded with so much information and advice that at times it’s difficult to know what is the “right” thing to do for our children.  We can find a plethora of “how-to” manuals, but the bottom line is that the best parenting practice is Soulful Parenting.

What is Soulful Parenting? Soulful Parenting is truly allowing our children be who they are and to honour their true selves.  It is parenting using our own intuition to understand and know our children.

…And what this translates into is knowing that there is no one tried and true method of discipline, but that each situation requires us as parents to filter our decisions and actions through our intuition.  We can equip ourselves with suggestions, ideas and knowledge, but there is no replacement for truly knowing our children, understanding their needs, and using our intuition to choose the best forms of discipline…and parenting.

This evening will be a discussion group revolving around the topic of disciplining our children coming from the perspective of Soulful Parenting.

January 23rd, 2013 from 7 – 9pm.  Click here for details.

Register:  trisha@AbsoluteAwareness.ca

Payment:

1)      Email Money Transfer to trisha@AbsoluteAwareness.ca. Code word: Trisha

2)       Cash (please bring exact change)

Trisha Savoia is founder/owner of Absolute Awareness, and creator of the The Integrity Code, and The Soulful Parent Programs. Through her programs, writing, and speaking she uses her skills, experience, and intuition as a mother, teacher, Clinical Hypnotherapist, and Entrepreneur to help guide moms to recover their true selves and their intuition, while at the same time learn how to parent so their children can do the same.

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In talking with moms, whether they be stay-at-home moms, working moms, corporate moms, or entrepreneurial moms there is a running theme around the guilt of the amount of quality time spent with their children.

With stay-at-home moms there is the guilt of being home, so feeling that their time should be spent either doing something with the kids or doing something for the kids.  With working moms there is the guilt of being away and handing over care of their children to someone else.

Regardless of what category of mom you fall into, the common theme is guilt around not enough quality time with your children.

My two-cents? First and foremost, I don’t believe one way of parenting is the “right” way.  Whether you are staying at home or working, it doesn’t matter.  You need to do what you feel called to do, not what others may say is the best way to raise your children.

And a quick side note – if someone does try to make a strong statement for why their way is the best way, it’s usually because they are so scared their way isn’t the best way that they have to defend it with all their might! Food for thought!

So, I want to give you my belief around creating a healthy environment for our children.  If you are a stay-at-home mom it doesn’t mean spending every second with them or planning events to keep them occupied; if you are a working mom it doesn’t mean having to make up for the time you aren’t there.

We’ve probably all heard before that it’s the quality of time we spend, not the quantity of time we spend.  And this is true, however I want to take it one step further.  I believe our roles as parents is to create the space for our children which allows them to always feel safe & secure, knowing that they can come to you at any time with anything they need.

It does not mean we have to hover over them, and carefully account for all their time.  What it does mean is knowing we are their guides, not their mangers, and it is our job to create an open and safe place for them to experiment and test the boundaries of who they are always knowing that you are there for them with unconditional openness.  Spending every available minute with them does not create this space.

How do you do this?  Allowing them their own voice, their own minds, their own imagination; their own creativity…by giving them the space they need to grow, while spending quality time (not necessarily quantity time) with them in which you can start discussions, and give them boundaries. AND equally as important is allowing them to see you grow and nurture yourself!

For more information visit – http://www.AbsoluteAwareness.ca 

Trisha Savoia is founder/owner of Absolute Awareness, and creator of the Moms Who Want More Program.  Through her programs, writing, and speaking she uses her skills and experience as a mother, teacher, & Clinical Hypnotherapist to mentor moms who want more out of their lives – mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

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As parents your intention is always to be doing what is best for your children.  But even with the best of intentions our own past programming can take over, which may lead us to parent from the ego.

 

First, I need to start by giving a definition of ego, since what I am referring to is not how we have come to understand and associate the word ego.  I’m not referring to arrogance and the notion of feeling superior to others.  What I’m referring to is your sense of identity; what you use to value yourself and how you allow external circumstances and events to define you.

 

So many of us have come to value our worth based on the square footage of our houses, the brand names we wear, the vehicles we drive…and most destructively how well our kids do – whether that be in school, sports, or how well they show their manners…because god knows I’ve taught them how to behave well in public!

 

How many times have you put on the pasty, fake smile for the passer-bys, while through gritted teeth, and under your breathe you are chastising your kids to listen?  Yeah, we’ve all done it…and we’ve all seen it!

 

Believing that our children’s accomplishments and behaviours are a reflection of us is ego-based.  The better they do, the better we feel as parents…it means we must be doing somethin’ right, therefore we must be valuable!  …Thereby placing our own value and worth outside of ourselves.

 

Not only is this toxic for ourselves, because our self-worth is contingent on circumstances sometimes outside of our control, but it’s also very toxic for our children.

 

Our children are so intuitive and pick up our energy whether you are aware of it or not.  The expectations we lay on them are felt by them whether it’s verbalized or not…and they will always aim to please their parents – its part of their innate makeup to seek approval and acceptance of their parents.

 

Trying to live up to their parent’s approval and expectations is based on knowing they receive more attention and recognition when they do.

 

The long-term effects of this are that we then are raising children who do not know their inner selves; they lose touch with their own true wants and desires; they live their life based on pleasing others, therefore creating a life of disconnection, which can lead to feeling unfulfilled and unhappy.

 

Now, I’m not saying that we shouldn’t be proud of our children.  Absolutely we should.  And in fact letting your child know that you are proud of them is important; it helps to build their self-esteem.  What is not healthy is if that pride is attached to how well they do; when you only show pride for their trophies, high marks, and other accomplishments.  This then connects their inner sense of pride and worth with something outside of themselves.  What about their creativity, compassion, generosity, sense of humour…..?

 

How many times has your son or daughter come home with a test, and they didn’t do quite as well as you thought they should.  What was your response?  Did you give them credit for a job well done, because you knew they were doing their best?  Or, did you comment on the areas where they could have improved?  Perhaps you thought you’d incorporate the two and congratulate them on their work, but still couldn’t resist the urge of pointing out that, “You knew that answer, if you only slowed down and really read the question.  You would have done even better.”  Not that there is anything wrong with always wanting to improve from where you are, BUT what message are you sending your children?

 

Not too long ago an incident occurred in our household.  My son brought home a folder of work that he had done in class.  While reviewing it, it appeared pretty obvious that he didn’t put his full effort into all his work. My husband went into a rant about “you can do better than this; this isn’t your best work; blah, blah, blah,” and I added my two-cents of “Jaden, you need to do your best work, and this isn’t your best.”

 

Well, several days later my son had a science test.  My husband and son spent days studying for this test.  The day of the test, my husband calls me saying he wished that he would have taken it easier on Jaden when he brought home that folder, because he didn’t want Jaden to think that he’ll only be proud of him if he gets better marks.  And to my husband’s credit he realized it would have been better to let him know we’re proud of him regardless of the mark as long as you give it your best.  Because the fact was, regardless of the mark Jaden got on that science test, he definitely did put in the work and effort.

 

When the kids got home from school that day we had a little chat about just that.

 

As synchronicity would have it, when Jaden got his science test back he had totally bombed it…even after all that studying.  This provided the perfect opportunity to practice what we had preached.  He clearly put in the effort and knew the material, but due to some circumstances he didn’t end up doing well on the test.

 

When asking Jaden if he was disappointed, he responded with, “Yeah I was at first, but then I realized this is just one test, and there will lots of other tests, so over time this one test won’t be such a big deal.  Besides I did study lots.”

 

I thought this was the perfect answer!  If, as parents, we would have carried on with the initial direction we were going regarding the marks of his work, I can safely say that Jaden wouldn’t have been able to reframe failing a test into such a positive attitude.

 

I certainly am proud of the fact that he was able to do that, but the bottom-line is that we had to let him make his mistakes without having an attachment to how it reflected on us as parents.

 

So, the first thing we need to do as parents is to learn when we are acting from our “ego.”  In every decision you make for your children you need to ask yourself the question, “Who is this really for?  Me or my child?”

 

And let’s be honest, saying that your child “choose this” and “really wants this” (ie. being put in yet another structured activity, or hockey camp, or dance class) is NOT a pure response.  That is often the excuse used by parents to justify over-scheduling or pushing too hard.

 

Over time a child’s responses are tainted because they know what the parent wants and will, more times than not, give the answer they know their parent wants to hear.  It’s in these cases you really need to know and understand yourself and you child, so that you can truly make the best decision.

 

So ask yourself, are you parenting from the ego?  Hmmm, maybe sometimes?  If we are being honest it happens to everyone as we go through parenting, and the key is to become aware of it, so that you can start to redirect it!

 

Trisha Savoia is founder/owner of Absolute Awareness, and creator of the Moms Who Want More Program.  Through her programs, writing, and speaking she uses her skills and experience as a mother, teacher, & Clinical Hypnotherapist to mentor moms who want more out of their lives – mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

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As I write this I am sitting with a close-up view of Mount Kidd in Kananaskis Country, Alberta, Canada.  I could not ask for a better view!

This morning I woke up knowing this was a writing day for me, but in all honestly I was feeling a little uninspired, and not quite sure what I was going to write about. But as with everything, I always send out a Universal asking for what I need, so I did the same today, and just trusted that if I was meant to write today it would come.

And it did…in a bit of an unexpected way.  As I was returning home this morning from dropping the kids off at school, there is a point on my route where I get an amazing view of the mountains.  As I looked out at the mountains, I got hit with an overwhelming urge to write “with a view.”  So, I knew I was goin’ somewhere with a view of the mountains. 

I had two choices – 1) to knock on my friend Jacki’s door, who has an amazing view of the mountains from virtually every room in her house (not sure she’s appreciate that!), or 2) drive out to the mountains!  I opted for number two.

So, I quickly stopped at home, grabbed my laptop, swung by Starbucks for my Chai Latte (you didn’t think I’d forget my tea, did ya?!), and I headed for a day in the mountains.

Now, I have to tell you, only 6 short years ago, I wouldn’t have been nearly as spontaneous.  I felt stuck in a career that was making me very unhappy, and I felt that it was out of my control to change these circumstances.  I have to admit that towards the end of my teaching career, I was not a good teacher.  I was uninspired, drained, and unmotivated.  Although, I will say one area I was still good at was making a connection with the students…I will give myself credit where credit is due.  However, as I teacher, clearly I needed to move on.  To where…..?

As I was driving towards the mountains goin’ the speed limit without the radio on; simply enjoying the view without distraction, my mind began taking me back to certain parts of my journey.  Six years ago the thought of being in a career that allowed me the flexibility and spontaneity to take a drive out to the mountains on a whim…and it still be part of my “work”…would have been completely unfathomable. 

I was very much a person who stayed within the lines, stuck to the rules, and made sure everyone else was happy.  But lord knows I wasn’t!

As I continued driving I could literally feel myself start to relax more and more, knowing that in trusting my nudges, I was doing exactly what I was suppose to be doing. The views were amazing – snow capped mountains with crisp winter air that made them pop out and feel even closer than they were.  As I turned onto the Kananaski road the scenery began to change, but into something equally as beautiful – the mountains shadowed the roads and trees, so all the trees were still covered in frost; every once in awhile I’d round a curve and the sun would peek through casting shimmers of sparkling snow.

I was totally immersed in the beauty of the nature surrounding me that it felt like I was in the scene of a movie…except that I really had to pee (damn those Chai Latte’s!!!).

This fact in itself created a bigger lesson – there is still beauty to be appreciated regardless of the circumstances you are in right now.  Where are you going to put your focus?!

As I got to Kananaskis Lodge and stepped out of my vehicle, a feeling of awe came over me.  And then my next thought was, “Find a bathroom!”  …Sorry if I am ruining your pure vision of this scene…just keepin’ it real!

As I was driving, and as I am sitting here now, the realization continues to hit me….I created this!  Maybe it’s the mountains talkin’ (okay, it’s definitely not just the mountains)…but life is good!

Having just read that above paragraph, how did you respond?  Really think about it.  Did you think, “Yep, life is good.”?  Or were you thinkin’ “Oh, I wish…that would be nice.”? Or were you thinkin’ “Yeah, easy for her to say, she has more flexibility.  I have commitments and obligations.  I can’t just run off to the mountains for the day.”?

Well, years ago, I would have thought I couldn’t either….BUT I just did!  I had to take some leaps of faith, surround myself with supportive people, take some “risks,” challenge my beliefs, let go of what others thought, and trust myself.  …BUT I did it.

When I stepped out of my vehicle and breathed in the mountain air, I was truly overwhelmed with how blessed I feel.  And I had to give myself a pat on the back for having the courage to choose this life.  It didn’t find me…I found it!

If right now you feel stuck, struggling, depressed, too scared to ask for help, don’t want to admit to yourself or others that you need help….I get it!  I absolutely know how you feel.  But, I believe the reason I was inspired to write about this is to show you that it can change.  You can change; your circumstances can change.

If a rule-abiding, stay on the beaten path, perfectionistic people pleaser, and over-analyzer to boot can do it…I guarantee you can too!!!  I say this as I am admiring the view of Mount Kidd.  How is your view?

Trisha Savoia is founder/owner of Absolute Awareness, and creator of the Moms Who Want More Program.  Through her programs, writing, and speaking she uses her skills and experience as a mother, teacher, & Clinical Hypnotherapist to mentor moms who want more out of their lives – mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

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